How parents can support their children in developing the emotional intelligence they need to stand out in these uncertain times. 

September has brought a lot of change. Kids are back to school, students are back to Uni and the rest of us can get back to work. But things are different. 

• Our kids are in bubbles and have many limitations put upon them to keep apart. Playtime certainly is taking a hit, especially for the younger ones!! 
• High School students are kept apart and many of their opportunities for musical theatres, sports matches and outward-bound trips, all cancelled
• University students are in lock down and aren’t allowed to do what students do
• Graduates are searching for meaningful jobs that build on their studies or, are struggling to find any way forward due to anxiety and pressures, not only from themselves but society too. 

So how can we, as parents continue to support them?

In the past few months, I have had more and more calls from parents who are worried about their sons/daughters and their 

• levels of anxiety 
• lack of urgency about what lies ahead
• limited drive to find a career 
• low understanding of their strengths and how they can use them to stand out
• Lack of self-belief when it comes to sitting the 11+ or any other exam or interview
• Uncertainty of the future of work and what opportunities are open to them

The list does go on and these worries not only affect our children, they affect us too. 

For those of you who I have met on my workshops, webinars or round table/ panel discussions, you will know of the work I do with supporting young adults find their way through our work at Flying Start XP. Because we believe that knowing more about yourself; your natural strengths, what’s important to you, what makes your heart sing, is the key to unlocking your next steps to finding a role that you will enjoy. It means you can confidently add a valuable contribution to teamwork, to individual work, to presentations, to EPQ’s to revision and to your next steps. 

We do this in a few ways but the key is to understanding how your behave, both naturally and the behaviours you call upon when you are in a variety of situations: with your friends, with your family, in the classroom or on your own. Understanding these behaviour preferences are the key to knowing why you react in certain ways, why your inner critic is so loud, why you get frustrated with people who aren’t driven or have low confidence. 

The tool we use to support our work is called C-Me which stands for colour-profile me and it is a psychometric tool based on Jungan theory which is where MBTI, DISC and Insights come from, if you’ve met them in the work place. What I love about C-Me is :- 

• It’s simplicity as it uses the language of colours
• How memorable it is, by understanding the behaviours associated with each of the colours, in a fun and interactive way
• How applicable it is to everyday situations

With this tool, the young people we work with, begin to understand that it’s OK to be them as they start to really believe the value they bring to the world. This new self-awareness automatically increases confidence and also increases tolerance levels of those around you. 

Such a simple tool which can do so much and open up so many conversations that may have been hard to have before. With Mental Health Day having just passed, these conversations are more and more important. Using the colours to support or start these conversations can be incredibly helpful. 

I know schools have a lot of pressures on them right now, having to tick a lot of boxes, keeping our kids safe and also meeting expectations set not only by the government but by parents too. They don’t have the bandwidth at this time to bring in new opportunities and explore more impactful options for their students and I don’t blame them. 

So what can we do to support the growth and development of emotional intelligence alongside the confidence we dream of seeing in our children? Because what we do know is that we can be certain of uncertainty. So let’s raise our children to have the resilience, the flexibility and adaptability in this uncertainty, having the knowledge of who they are and how they add value, giving them the confidence to face whatever is in store. This development of resilience to cope with change, with stress and with uncontrollable pressures, with stand them in good stead and help them stand out when the opportunities arise. 

I’d love to work with your son/daughter. 

Here’s what a few other parents and coachees have said recently:-

“I was having trouble getting my son to focus on his future. I needed someone whose judgment I trusted and could help him build his awareness and focus to ensure that he had the skills, belief and techniques needed to maximise opportunities when entering the world of work. He liked her immediately, engaged quickly with Alex and looked forward to their sessions.  I am so grateful that Alex was able to have conversations that I couldn’t which have led to many seeds being planted in his mind. He found Alex “very organised, with smoothly run sessions which all have very transparent, real world applications. She is enthusiastic and great at spotting and suggesting opportunities.” A win win for all of us. I would thoroughly recommend her”. Parent. 1:1 Coaching of Undergraduate son

“Being in a small group, it was great to have Alex put everything into a personal level and make it specific for each of us. I really enjoyed self-placing myself on the c-me wheel and then comparing to my report. I would definitely recommend this course.” Undergraduate. Group Workshop

“I thought I was weird, and I know I don’t think much of myself. I’m very critical. Working with Alex gave me the chance to explore what I do without thinking and how I can use some of these behaviours to feel more positive about myself. “Year 6 pupil. 1:1 Coaching

Whether your son/daughter is still at school, at university, on a gap year or hunting for a job. 

We :-

• Help them gain a real understanding of their strengths, values and natural skills 
• Provide practical tools and techniques to enhance their job search strategy 
• Develop their emotional intelligence and confidence to find an environment in which they can thrive